Nosh Pit - All About Matzoh

All of you goyem out there may not know what this is. It's matzoh (or matzah, or matzo) - the traditional unleavened bread used in the Jewish holiday of Passover.

Now you may be asking yourself, "what is Brini, shiksa (glossary of terms at end of post) that she is, doing writing a blog post about matzoh and Pesach? Well, I'll tell you, I have more than a passing acquaintance with all things Jewish. As hard as it may be to believe, this blonde haired, blue eyed girl is part JAP.

Being part Jewish, this season of the year brings me great nachas. It gives me the opportunity to buy the food of my people, most notably, matzoh. Though the basic recipe of flour and water never changes, there are many types of matzoh, so you shouldn't get fachadick, I'll give you a run down.

- Unsalted: This type is the basic matzoh. Labeled as kosher, it can be used in the Passover ceremonies.

-Lightly salted: This is the basic matzoh sprinkled with kosher salt. It's generally not used for the holiday, but is a bit more geschmak than unsalted is.

-Egg: This matzoh adds egg to the recipe. They frequently use fruit juice instead of water.

-Egg and Onion: Egg matzoh with onion flavor added.

-Whole wheat: Made with whole wheat flour.

Matzoh can be made at home and it's simple to do. Combine 3 1/4 cups flour with one cup of water and blend well. separate the dough into small parcels and roll them out flat. Place them on a cookie sheet and prick all over with a fork, then bake at 500 degrees until they brown.

It's a bit ironic that during one of the big holiday seasons, when aside from Hashem, of course, it's all about entertaining with lots of mispachas and mishpocha running around, and as a baleboosteh, you have to serve kosher. It's a shpilkes, it's enough to make you meshugeneh. There are options, however. Lots of things can be done with matzoh and sauces both sweet and savory You can even get chocolate covered matzoh.

So the next time you walk down the ethnic aisle in your supermarket, why not pick up some matzoh? If you're going to fress, you may as well find something geschmak. Just don't eat so much you get chaloshes and plotz!

Glossary for this blog post:

Goyem: Non Jewish person
Shiksa: Non Jewish woman
Pesach: Passover
Nachas: Much joy
Fachadick: Confused
Geschmak: Tasty
Hashem: Literally The Name - G-d
Mispachas: Family
Mishpocha: In-laws
Baleboosteh: Great homemaker
Shpilkes: Trouble
Meshugeneh: Crazy
Fress: Eat
Chaloshes: Nauseous
Plotz: Explode

Thanks to sillymusic.com for the yiddishisms.